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Cafcass Safeguarding Interviews: 10 Things That Land Well—and 10 That Don’t
- opheliamills
- Oct 15, 2025
- 3 min read
If you’re preparing for a Cafcass interview, you’ve probably seen websites, forums, even AI tools, offering scripts and coaching. Truth: turning up with a script will only stress you out.
This isn’t a job interview. You’re not being judged on performance. You’re being assessed on how you describe your child’s world, your co-parenting reality, and your ability to keep your child safe.
I spent 23 years as a Family Court Adviser at Cafcass, conducting these interviews daily in the last five. Here are ten responses that consistently undermined credibility, alongside examples of what tends to land better with Cafcass and the court. These are illustrations, not scripts.
The diagnostic label
Red flag: Leading with a diagnosis (“They’re a narcissist”).
What lands better: “The behaviours I’m worried about are: shouting at handover (12 & 26 Aug), late returns (three times in Sept), and undermining the Sunday bedtime routine.”
Rights-first framing
Red flag: “My rights / 50:50 on principle.”
A way to frame it: “I’d like to build towards a routine with three nights with me, four with the other parent—alternating—or possibly week-on/week-off. I’m also open to what Cafcass thinks would work best.”
A WhatsApp avalanche
Red flag: Opening with “Can I have your email? I need to send you a WhatsApp thread.” it’s 40 pages long.
What works: Pick two or three clear threads. Summarise, then ask if sending dated copies would help. Don’t expect Cafcass or the court to wade through 40 pages, it’s the bureaucratic equivalent of watching paint dry.
Global character attack
Red flag: “Everyone knows they lie.”
What lands better: “There are inconsistencies with dates and messages. I’ve highlighted the relevant parts.”
The “they pushed my buttons” response
Red flag: When asked about a verbal argument, replying: “They pushed my buttons.”
What lands better: “I lost my temper and wish I’d handled it differently. I can see that was hard for our child. I’m taking responsibility and will arrange for a family friend to do the handovers for the next 6 weeks.”
Slogans about ‘alienation’
Red flag: Broad “alienation” claims with no specifics.
A way to frame it: “I’m concerned about comments made in front of our child (e.g., ‘you don’t have to go’ on 3 Sept). Impact? Afterwards, they were clingy and tearful at handover.”
From serious to trivial
Red flag: Raising a serious safeguarding concern—e.g., the other parent was drunk while caring for their three-year-old—then listing 30 minor ones: forgetting sunscreen, not adhering to the gluten-free diet, using the wrong toothpaste.
What lands better: Focus on the most serious issues. Don’t trawl through everything the other parent has ever done wrong. Less is more.
A 40-minute monologue
Red flag: “Let me take you back to the beginning… It started in sixth form… then in 2002…”
What works: Lead with your concern → the impact on your child → your proposal. Example: “Two late returns and one doorway row this month → child tired and tearful → trial a Sunday 5pm return + neutral handover for 4 weeks, then review.”
Stigmatising mental health
Red flag: “They’re mentally unstable.”
What lands better: “I’m worried about reliability. Two missed collections (5 & 19 Aug). I’d like a stepped plan and confirmation of support in place.”
New-partner panic
Red flag: “I want their new partner to be police-checked. They stay overnight and vape indoors.”
What works better: I’m not asking for a file on them; I’m asking for a pace our child can handle.
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